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The Naruto Text Based Role Playing Game
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2019 3:45 pm 
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Konoha Genin
Konoha Genin

Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2019 2:33 pm
Posts: 23
Name: Uchiha Kensho
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Height: 6
Weight: 180 lbs
Rank: Gennin
Faction of Origin: Shinobi,
Village: Konoha
Bloodline/Clan: Uchiha
Restricted Loan Technique: CUSTOM - Satori Host (see below - I based this on Jinchuriki but tried to simplify it and tone it down a bit...feedback welcome)

Appearance:
A bit of an early bloomer, Kensho is lean and athletic, has dark, tousled hair and dark brown eyes. He usually has a couple days growth on his beard.

His typical garb, both on missions and when out doing errands, is loose black pants, a black mandarin style vest embroidered with his clan symbol on the back, black tall boots with fingerless gloves, and his forehead protector.

When lounging around he typically wears grey sweat pants and a white tank top. He'll add a hooded sweatshirt if it is cold.



History:
Uchiha Kensho has lived most of his life as an orphan. His parents died in the line of duty when he was still a baby and he was primarily raised by his older brother - a jonin proficient with his sharigen eyes, and their godfather - a retired fuuinjutsu specialist. Both perished when they encountered the yokai Satori rampaging across the countryside. Yet before they left their mortal coils, they combined their abilities to seal Satori within Kensho's young body. Kensho himself passed out from the ordeal, only to wake when a task force from Konoha came to investigate the disturbance. He was eventually brought back to the village.

He later learned that a subversive group of shinobi had retrieved the fabled box of bliss (Satori's former master, home, and containment device) in an attempt to wage war on Konohagakure. Their attempts to alter the bindings and seals on the box caused it to violently explode. In the midst of the smoke and chaos those responsible were slaughtered by Satori who was freed by the destruction of the box. After an apparent eternity of servitude, Satori had been driven insane and went on a rampage across the countryside. The box had been everything to him for as long as he could remember. In the absence of its euphoric influence, his mind was left a tangled mess of rage and craving. This was when Kensho, his godfather, and brother, stumbled upon the situation as noted above.

From a tender age, Kensho lived alone. He befriended a wandering Buddhist yogi who taught him to meditate and play shogi. He found that meditation quited his yokai-disturbed sleep so he took to the practice with a passion unlikely in one so young. He has since devoted himself to self mastery and his studies at the academy. Recently achieving the rank of Gennin, he is excited to start giving back to the village that has been his home all these years.

Personality Traits:
Kensho is stoic, dignified and reserved beyond his years. His sense of humor is dry and sarcastic, though rarely mean. He takes a pragmatic view towards most things and prefers to help those in need, though not always in the ways they expect. He is focused on training to master the beast bound within him. He sometimes offends his peers with his detachment and his superior, condescending attitude - the later of which he is oblivious too. While he thinks of himself as cautious and measured the truth is he has not yet truly been tested and he will have a tendency to overestimate his abilities until he learns otherwise.

Chakra Color: light blue

Nindo: Victory starts with knowing oneself

Character Preferences:

He enjoys obscure large-board variants of shogi. He usually plays against himself but if he likes someone he'll start gently pestering them to play

He meditates diligently

His guilty pleasure is trashy pulp fantasy novels

He is straight and conflicted between his hormones and wanting to avoid distractions

His goals include mastering both control of Satori and his sharingen eyes in order to fulfill his potential. He cares about his village and hopes to do his part to ensure that it thrives.

He dislikes large crowds of people

Skills:
Kuchiyose Adept
Fuuinjutsu Novice
Bukijutsu Novice (JoAT)

Attributes:
Strength: Average/minor
Constitution: Proficient
Stamina: Proficient
Reflex: Proficient
Coordination: Proficient
Wisdom: Masterful/minor

Elements: None

Spent Character Points: 4000
bloodline 200
attributes 3400
skills 400

Active Character Points: 4000
Unspent Character Points: 0
Total Character Points: 4000

Special Abilities:
Great Things: as the orphaned host of Satori, people pay attention to Kensho's doings. Fame and infamy increases are 50% greater

Flaws:
High Expectations: What would seem amazing from someone else is only to be expected from the host of Satori. Fame and infamy rewards cost double


Might: 0
Will: 2
Fate: 2 (plus 2 points from being Satori's host)

Image

SATORI HOST: moved to a new thread per mods request
viewtopic.php?f=306&t=14969


SEAL: Kensho starts with the 8 trigram seal. If it ever loses all durability Satori is freed which kills the host. This seal may be repaired or replaced as normal


Last edited by Uchiha Kensho on Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:45 pm, edited 15 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2019 8:13 pm 
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Konoha Genin
Konoha Genin

Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2019 2:33 pm
Posts: 23
So I figured this is more or less ready - though as this is my first character on this board there likely will be some things I need to change. For the Satori Host special ability, I attempted to create a slightly more basic version of the jinchuriki ability but that was almost as powerful. Hopefully it is playable :) If not I'm not opposed to sticking more closely to the existing jinchuriki abilities.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2019 8:49 pm 
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Konoha Jonin
Konoha Jonin
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Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2013 5:56 am
Posts: 1896
Infamy: 0
Jutsu List: memes
Location: Konoha
Hi.

So to get straight into it, you can’t have a custom status be like, basically another bijuu or anything that comes close to it basically being a full fledged bijuu of something. To try and explain what I’m saying is like, for a custom status what we had in mind were things like, let’s say you having satori inside you as special fluf and therefor you gaining access to for example its ‘bijuu’ mode only or it having a unique chakra mode. Minor stuff like that, they could be somewhat similar to existing restricteds but they can’t be essentially complete copies with just a rename. Not only does your custom ‘bijuu’ not exactly follow what we had in mind, it also pretty much completely bypasses the bijuu limit, since what you’re doing is pretty much just another bijuu but ‘custom’ made. I’m not sure if I explained that well but if you have any further questions feel free to @mods on discord. We’d be happy to help and/or clarify the custom status!

Also, that Special ability is a no go. Sorry. No free MS to gain EMS later on.

_________________
Image

Cool info stuff found below:

Image
Welcome, human! Below you'll find my statistics, enjoy your stay..

Attributes:

Strength: Average
Constitution: Average
Stamina: Masterful
Coordination: Average Minor
Reflexes: Proficient
Wisdom: Proficient

Fighting Styles:

Ninjutsu Specialist
Sensory Major

Elements:
Mokuton
Suiton
Doton


Spent Character Points: 5000
Unspent Character Points: 0
Active Character Points: 5000


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2019 10:08 pm 
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Konoha Genin
Konoha Genin

Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2019 2:33 pm
Posts: 23
Thanks for your feedback. I think I addressed all of your suggestions. This custom status is now quite a bit more limited than the one it was based on...hopefully it is acceptable. I kinda figured the EMS was a stretch so I don't mind giving those up at all.

Is this iteration more or less acceptable? Any further suggestions?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2019 11:20 pm 
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Konoha Jonin
Konoha Jonin
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Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2013 5:56 am
Posts: 1896
Infamy: 0
Jutsu List: memes
Location: Konoha
It grants negative emotion sensing, chakra access, host healing, bijuu mode and chakra mode. On top of that you get to pick the stats you gain which no jinchuuriki can really freely do. It still does way too much for a custom status, the only thing it is missing is its weaker cloak modes. It still possesses quite too much of what a jinchuuriki has and I suggest severely limiting it to something a lot less. You want it to be a special thing to your character, that’s kinda the aim of a custom status. It can share some things with other restricteds on the list but this is pretty much copying 80% of what another restricted has (namely a jinchuuriki) and giving it another name with a very small removed aspect which actually straight up removes one of the jinchuuriki’s weaknesses. Namely the wisdom reduction as well as the slow deteriorating seal strength on top of the chance of a full loss of control of emotions.

On top of all that it gives flight. It is in many aspects copying an already existing restricted or two. I’d recommend not doing the custom status in your application, I would get the application approved first and work on the custom status in your custom technique reg. page.

_________________
Image

Cool info stuff found below:

Image
Welcome, human! Below you'll find my statistics, enjoy your stay..

Attributes:

Strength: Average
Constitution: Average
Stamina: Masterful
Coordination: Average Minor
Reflexes: Proficient
Wisdom: Proficient

Fighting Styles:

Ninjutsu Specialist
Sensory Major

Elements:
Mokuton
Suiton
Doton


Spent Character Points: 5000
Unspent Character Points: 0
Active Character Points: 5000


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2019 12:27 am 
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Konoha Genin
Konoha Genin

Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2019 2:33 pm
Posts: 23
I’d be happy to add more drawbacks and I already removed the chakra mode. Satories stats are also a bit weaker than the bijuus. I thought this was a cool idea that was, per the custom special ability option description, a bit weaker than the existing options of being a jinchuriki as well as being in line with the source material. I’d be happy to hammer this out to make it work with that in mind. I’ve had a lot of fun coming up with this character and put a lot of time into it. My impression now though is that custom statuses can only be based on the weaker options on the restricted list, not the more powerful ones.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2019 8:05 am 
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Missing-nin S-rank
Missing-nin S-rank
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Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 10:03 pm
Posts: 4532
Fame: 0
Seeing what you have here, I'd choose one ability, either Flight or Negative Emotion Sensing. Most of the Bijuu have a single prominent ability and some of them have a more minor one also associated with them, but both a huge 'negative emotion sense' range and the advantage of being able to fly are both considered fairly strong. I'd suggest also that custom techniques associated with your custom status be hashed out in your custom registration, but I will say that a technique that just ignores any amount of Durability (such as what you've noted for Piercing Feathers) won't be approved. Your Yokai Beast Mode and probably your Healing ability should probably damage your seal, since most of the ways to do so have been removed from the original ability. I doubt that you'll run into too many problems regarding this. As a suggestion, the Healing ability could deal 1 point of damage to the seal, while the Yokai Beast Mode would deal 2 per post (potentially freeing it from an S-rank if the full 15 posts were used without Control). Obviously once Control is obtained, it would no longer damage the seal.

It would also help if we knew what Satori looked like, its mannerisms, where it comes from, what its motivations are (simply listing these things is the bare minimum amount of work required here - we'd all prefer a decent and engaging story). In general, for things like the battle for Control, a staff member plays the Bijuu in question, and hosts can die in this battle, so as much information as possible on Satori is preferred. Bijuu are easier to play because there is a wealth of background and lore on them in the Naruto universe - your Yokai has only that it exists and, presumably, has feathers going for it. We don't really know anything else about it, and realistically I'd demand a lot more from an existing member (because you're new and I'm trying to make you feel welcome, I don't want to outright deny your custom ability because its lore doesn't exactly stack up).

EDIT: It's been pointed out to me there's a movie filler which features a creature called Satori. While that does give *some* background (not a lot, the filler is notoriously bad at just making things up and then never really tying it in because it's resolved outside the main story) I'd still like to know things like how it was found and freed, what happened to its prison, who was hosting it to make it rampage, what happened to that person, etc. Just reading about it, this doesn't seem like something that gets put into people via a seal - they use the box to send it to the shadow realm or whatever.

_________________
All I believe, is it a dream
That comes crashing down on me?


Stats:
Str: Legendary
Con: Masterful
Sta: Legendary
Coo: Legendary (Godlike with Taijutsu)
Ref: Legendary (Godlike with Taijutsu)
Wis: Legendary (Godlike with Fuuinjutsu)

Skills:
Taijutsu Paragon
Fuuinjutsu Master
Ninjutsu Master
Ijutsu Adept

All I own,
Is it just smoke and mirrors?


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2019 1:24 pm 
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Konoha Genin
Konoha Genin

Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2019 2:33 pm
Posts: 23
Ok, I can work with those suggestions - those are actually really helpful. Both the flight (he's a monster with giant wings) and negative emotion sensing (Satori means enlightenment, and the negative emotion setting is explicitly called out in the source material) are pretty key to Satori's character but perhaps I can put more limits and restrictions on them in the interests of balance. Perhaps some sort of "maddening whisper" negative effect Kensho has to deal with. In any case it would likely be a long time before Kensho gains control so flight would be of minimum utility until then. I'll put the seal stuff and damage in as you suggested.

I also have more backstory in my head that I haven't put down yet as my priority was to work out the custom ability but I can start typing that out as well.

EDIT: Thanks for working with me here. On the discord I was informed that no one has chosen the custom ability option before so I understand we are treading new ground up to a point - which is made all the more difficult as I am new to the site! I've made a few mechanical adjustments based on your suggestions and am working on backstory stuff now. I'll be sure to flesh out Satori's motivations as well for those who haven't seen the movie.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2019 5:03 pm 
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Konoha Jonin
Konoha Jonin
User avatar

Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2013 5:56 am
Posts: 1896
Infamy: 0
Jutsu List: memes
Location: Konoha
Cool! But on another note, this really should be done in your custom registration app. Not your character application. You could work on your character here and get that approved and copy/paste your custom status in your custom application so we could help you further there.

_________________
Image

Cool info stuff found below:

Image
Welcome, human! Below you'll find my statistics, enjoy your stay..

Attributes:

Strength: Average
Constitution: Average
Stamina: Masterful
Coordination: Average Minor
Reflexes: Proficient
Wisdom: Proficient

Fighting Styles:

Ninjutsu Specialist
Sensory Major

Elements:
Mokuton
Suiton
Doton


Spent Character Points: 5000
Unspent Character Points: 0
Active Character Points: 5000


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2019 5:22 pm 
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Konoha Genin
Konoha Genin

Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2019 2:33 pm
Posts: 23
Ok, I can copy and paste all the custom stuff into another thread where we can hopefully work out any remaining kinks.

Aside from the custom stuff, how is the character app looking? I fleshed things out a bit more but am open to suggestions for improvement.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2019 2:29 am 
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Kiri Jonin
Kiri Jonin
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Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2017 1:19 am
Posts: 2236
Fame: 0
Infamy: 0
Background looks better and your numbers for CP expenditure are correct so that's good. One thing I will point out is that you do not actually gain 2 Fate points from being Satori Host, just that you get a refreshing pool of 2 Fate Points. Other than that the app looks fine imo.

_________________
Image
Image
Image
Image
Ninjutsu Expert
Kyujutsu Master
Fuuinjutsu Specialist
Sensory Expert

Strength: Proficient w/Minor (Epic w/Kyujutsu)
Constitution: Proficient
Stamina: Masterful
Reflexes: Masterful (Major Advantage w/Sensory)
Coordination: Epic (Major Advantage w/Kyujutsu, Major Advantage w/Ninjutsu, Major Advantage w/Sensory, Legendary w/Drawing)
Wisdom: Masterful (Epic w/Fuinjutsu)

Wind
Lightning
Water


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:33 pm 
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Konoha Genin
Konoha Genin

Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2019 2:33 pm
Posts: 23
Cool, now that my ability is approved, I wanted to check and see if my character is as well. I switched out elemental affinity for a couple skills and tweaked stats a tad. Quick question: so the fate points from my ability renew each topic. Do the standard ones replenish as well or are they one time use? Didnt see the answere in the forums anywhere. Also, once I get final approval I can just dive in? Any tips for starting out? Thanks!


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:38 pm 
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Kiri Jonin
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Posts: 2236
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Infamy: 0
When you pick Bukijutsu, even Novice, you have to choose which tree you're going to spec into. The two options are Master of One (MoO) or Jack of All Trade (JoAT), so that will have to be decided before the app is a go. I also assume your height is 6'?

Standard Might, Will, and Fate points do not refresh, one time use for those. You can just dive in yeah, find a topic to hop into or ask someone on the discord to topic with you, whichever you're more comfortable with.

_________________
Image
Image
Image
Image
Ninjutsu Expert
Kyujutsu Master
Fuuinjutsu Specialist
Sensory Expert

Strength: Proficient w/Minor (Epic w/Kyujutsu)
Constitution: Proficient
Stamina: Masterful
Reflexes: Masterful (Major Advantage w/Sensory)
Coordination: Epic (Major Advantage w/Kyujutsu, Major Advantage w/Ninjutsu, Major Advantage w/Sensory, Legendary w/Drawing)
Wisdom: Masterful (Epic w/Fuinjutsu)

Wind
Lightning
Water


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:44 pm 
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Konoha Genin
Konoha Genin

Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2019 2:33 pm
Posts: 23
Ok thanks, I’ll add JoAT then


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:52 pm 
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Kiri Jonin
Kiri Jonin
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Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2017 1:19 am
Posts: 2236
Fame: 0
Infamy: 0
Quote:
Name: Uchiha Kensho
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Height: 6
Weight: 180 lbs
Rank: Gennin
Faction of Origin: Shinobi,
Village: Konoha
Bloodline/Clan: Uchiha
Restricted Loan Technique: CUSTOM - Satori Host (see below - I based this on Jinchuriki but tried to simplify it and tone it down a bit...feedback welcome)

Appearance:
A bit of an early bloomer, Kensho is lean and athletic, has dark, tousled hair and dark brown eyes. He usually has a couple days growth on his beard.

His typical garb, both on missions and when out doing errands, is loose black pants, a black mandarin style vest embroidered with his clan symbol on the back, black tall boots with fingerless gloves, and his forehead protector.

When lounging around he typically wears grey sweat pants and a white tank top. He'll add a hooded sweatshirt if it is cold.



History:
Uchiha Kensho has lived most of his life as an orphan. His parents died in the line of duty when he was still a baby and he was primarily raised by his older brother - a jonin proficient with his sharigen eyes, and their godfather - a retired fuuinjutsu specialist. Both perished when they encountered the yokai Satori rampaging across the countryside. Yet before they left their mortal coils, they combined their abilities to seal Satori within Kensho's young body. Kensho himself passed out from the ordeal, only to wake when a task force from Konoha came to investigate the disturbance. He was eventually brought back to the village.

He later learned that a subversive group of shinobi had retrieved the fabled box of bliss (Satori's former master, home, and containment device) in an attempt to wage war on Konohagakure. Their attempts to alter the bindings and seals on the box caused it to violently explode. In the midst of the smoke and chaos those responsible were slaughtered by Satori who was freed by the destruction of the box. After an apparent eternity of servitude, Satori had been driven insane and went on a rampage across the countryside. The box had been everything to him for as long as he could remember. In the absence of its euphoric influence, his mind was left a tangled mess of rage and craving. This was when Kensho, his godfather, and brother, stumbled upon the situation as noted above.

From a tender age, Kensho lived alone. He befriended a wandering Buddhist yogi who taught him to meditate and play shogi. He found that meditation quited his yokai-disturbed sleep so he took to the practice with a passion unlikely in one so young. He has since devoted himself to self mastery and his studies at the academy. Recently achieving the rank of Gennin, he is excited to start giving back to the village that has been his home all these years.

Personality Traits:
Kensho is stoic, dignified and reserved beyond his years. His sense of humor is dry and sarcastic, though rarely mean. He takes a pragmatic view towards most things and prefers to help those in need, though not always in the ways they expect. He is focused on training to master the beast bound within him. He sometimes offends his peers with his detachment and his superior, condescending attitude - the later of which he is oblivious too. While he thinks of himself as cautious and measured the truth is he has not yet truly been tested and he will have a tendency to overestimate his abilities until he learns otherwise.

Chakra Color: light blue

Nindo: Victory starts with knowing oneself

Character Preferences:

He enjoys obscure large-board variants of shogi. He usually plays against himself but if he likes someone he'll start gently pestering them to play

He meditates diligently

His guilty pleasure is trashy pulp fantasy novels

He is straight and conflicted between his hormones and wanting to avoid distractions

His goals include mastering both control of Satori and his sharingen eyes in order to fulfill his potential. He cares about his village and hopes to do his part to ensure that it thrives.

He dislikes large crowds of people

Skills:
Kuchiyose Adept
Fuuinjutsu Novice
Bukijutsu Novice (JoAT)

Attributes:
Strength: Average/minor
Constitution: Proficient
Stamina: Proficient
Reflex: Proficient
Coordination: Proficient
Wisdom: Masterful/minor

Elements: None

Spent Character Points: 4000
bloodline 200
attributes 3400
skills 400

Active Character Points: 4000
Unspent Character Points: 0
Total Character Points: 4000

Special Abilities:
Great Things: as the orphaned host of Satori, people pay attention to Kensho's doings. Fame and infamy increases are 50% greater

Flaws:
High Expectations: What would seem amazing from someone else is only to be expected from the host of Satori. Fame and infamy rewards cost double


Might: 0
Will: 2
Fate: 2 (plus 2 points from being Satori's host)

Image

SATORI HOST: moved to a new thread per mods request
viewtopic.php?f=306&t=14969


SEAL: Kensho starts with the 8 trigram seal. If it ever loses all durability Satori is freed which kills the host. This seal may be repaired or replaced as normal
Looks fine, make sure to list out what your JoAT Weapons Pool is in an update so we know what you got going. You can change it as long as you're in a friendly village and not like, currently fighting in a topic in your update thread.

Image

_________________
Image
Image
Image
Image
Ninjutsu Expert
Kyujutsu Master
Fuuinjutsu Specialist
Sensory Expert

Strength: Proficient w/Minor (Epic w/Kyujutsu)
Constitution: Proficient
Stamina: Masterful
Reflexes: Masterful (Major Advantage w/Sensory)
Coordination: Epic (Major Advantage w/Kyujutsu, Major Advantage w/Ninjutsu, Major Advantage w/Sensory, Legendary w/Drawing)
Wisdom: Masterful (Epic w/Fuinjutsu)

Wind
Lightning
Water


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